" please could you stay awhile to share my grief,
for it's such a lovely day,
to have to always feel this way,
and the time that I will suffer less,
is when I never have to wake. " |
Ironic isn't it? I wonder how many other people were listening to that little 1994 nugget today besides just us. I worked, reluctantly, into the evening and am feeling the weekend catch up to me. Sleep soon... I hope. This afternoon I took a trip to my new office building. I don't particularly care to move. The executive suites we lease now are adequate for the work I do when I'm in the office and I very much like the staff. I'll miss them much more than the location. My new digs are very... umm... corporate. Neutral and noncommittal colors drape impersonal cubicles and blasé walls. I ordered a couple of poster prints tonight to have framed just to splash something on the walls that doesn't look so clinical. The effort is empty. There was a time not long ago when it would have mattered to me. Colorblind apathy has grown from the echo within the shell I've become. I would like to think I'm trying, but it really doesn't mean much.
Nightfall.
aren’t we all just faking it until it’s real?
it’s ok.
(if that means anything at all coming froma stranger)
one day you wake up and you start going through the same fake motions again,..
only now,.. after yet even more time,..
you start to mean them again,..
you never forget. you never “get over”.
you just make sure you keep going.
and going and going. lol
I’ve been reading your posts (my Sis-In-Law told me about your site) and finally thought it was time to leave a comment.
I’m so sorry for the pain you are going through right now. It’s been thought provoking reading through the posts. Not many of us stop to treasure what we have at the moment and it’s a shame. The love you have for your wife is truely a special love that will be needed for you in your time of grief. Yours friends and family are so important also and it sounds like you and yours realize just that.
I also wanted to tell you that your pics are amazing! I live out in “The Woods” (I’m sure you get the meaning) and to read about places I go to and see pics about them is pretty awesome!
Just wanted to let you know that there are people reading that have you in their thoughts and prayers.
Take care - R.
Another gorgeous photo, C. I hope the posters you ordered were your own prints? I quite like having my own work around me - feels like I’m doing something. That said, I would really love to add one of yours to my walls.
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