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Thursday, October 31, 2002

Vaseline, Blistick, Chapstick, or any

Vaseline, Blistick, Chapstick, or any similar lip moisturizer seems to produce THE most powerful force of attraction felt by cat hair in the known universe. I'm delirious. I made a pot of vegetable soup tonight for dinner. The entire evening I was wishing it was a juicy steak. I don't eat much red meat anymore, but sometimes you have to embrace your inner Meatasaurus. I'm craving rich foods and dark chocolate. If I could develop a spray-on chemical that can be applied to the lips after moisturizing that would repel cat hair, I could make some serious bank from all the dented (but not broken) single peops out there with lots of cats and big chapped lips. I could buy an evil lair.
Posted by clayton in
(8) Comments | Permalink
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statia  on  10/31  at  08:49 PM

It’s not just chapstick.  Certain foods are like that too.  Actually, in my house, nothing I eat is sacred.  I always find a dog hair in my food, and I vacuum 3 times a week.

melly  on  10/31  at  11:26 PM

Maybe if you made a smooth layer of poo on your mouth and THEN applied the chapstick. No? See if I ever help you again.

clayton  on  11/01  at  05:27 AM

melly, that is an excellent idea…

FOR ME TO POOP ON!

 on  11/01  at  08:28 AM

You should probably just stop licking your cats so often.

clayton  on  11/01  at  09:08 AM

licking pussy?

Lisa  on  11/01  at  12:15 PM

Gee, and here I thought I was the only one that happened to!  Lip balm attracts cats like crazy…

.jett.  on  11/01  at  01:48 PM

CLIFF CLAVIN MOMENT!

Did you KNOW that petroleum products actually DRY the skin? So essentially, Chapstick is fucking you in the goat ass when you buy their product because they are drying you out, causing you to use more, causing you to buy more, ad nauseum.

And oh yeah, THREE MINUTE FUCK!

clayton  on  11/01  at  02:13 PM

the voice mail angel has spoken… HEED!

;-)

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