“Um… a malt Glen Garry
"Um... a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it." - Trent (Swingers)
Ok. I'm not going to argue with the purists out there that whines like a fucking kindergartener at recess that skins his knee on the playground concerning bullshit issues like whether a martini should be shaken or stirred... gin or vodka... dry or dirty as hell... you get me? Who the fuck cares? Drink what you like. Like what you drink. That's my motto... well, one of them anyway. Truth be told, the secret to a classic martini (as in original recipe) is all in the ratios. Gin was where is was at in the beginning and vodka only became "acceptable" in the 60's. They started out stirred with love, but James Bond was a catalyst in the shaking' department. These days, you can get a "martini" that is so damn far from a martini that one wonders why the name is even the same... maybe it's the glass. My brother, Sean, drinks apple martinis (obviously a by product of living in Hollywierd for a decade)... my dear friend Greg is hooked on Cosmopolitans and some black variety that contains sweet liquors and although the recipe escapes me at this moment, I remember imagining it to taste good when he described it. Clayton likes his martinis dry as the Sahara desert. If you must use vermouth, measure in parts per million. I can do gin or vodka, but my favorite variation of a martini happens to be just as far from the original as Johnny Appleseed Sean's and Sex and the City Greg's delights. Grey Goose, Ketel One, Chopin... any of the three will do... frozen glass, chilled, neat... no additives, no preservatives... big fat olives only if I haven't eaten. Simple. Now, how does one drink 3 or 4 ounces of vodka and call it a martini? Good question. How are any of these 484 recipes martinis? I don't know. What I do know is... you're so money and you don't even know it...
Ok. I'm not going to argue with the purists out there that whines like a fucking kindergartener at recess that skins his knee on the playground concerning bullshit issues like whether a martini should be shaken or stirred... gin or vodka... dry or dirty as hell... you get me? Who the fuck cares? Drink what you like. Like what you drink. That's my motto... well, one of them anyway. Truth be told, the secret to a classic martini (as in original recipe) is all in the ratios. Gin was where is was at in the beginning and vodka only became "acceptable" in the 60's. They started out stirred with love, but James Bond was a catalyst in the shaking' department. These days, you can get a "martini" that is so damn far from a martini that one wonders why the name is even the same... maybe it's the glass. My brother, Sean, drinks apple martinis (obviously a by product of living in Hollywierd for a decade)... my dear friend Greg is hooked on Cosmopolitans and some black variety that contains sweet liquors and although the recipe escapes me at this moment, I remember imagining it to taste good when he described it. Clayton likes his martinis dry as the Sahara desert. If you must use vermouth, measure in parts per million. I can do gin or vodka, but my favorite variation of a martini happens to be just as far from the original as Johnny Appleseed Sean's and Sex and the City Greg's delights. Grey Goose, Ketel One, Chopin... any of the three will do... frozen glass, chilled, neat... no additives, no preservatives... big fat olives only if I haven't eaten. Simple. Now, how does one drink 3 or 4 ounces of vodka and call it a martini? Good question. How are any of these 484 recipes martinis? I don't know. What I do know is... you're so money and you don't even know it...
No, beautiful baby you’re money!
I prefer gimlets myself. It’s the onion not the olive. I think you should just wave the open vermouth bottle near your glass. You know they make little mist bottles to squirt some vermouth on the ice before you add the gin or vodka? Never mind, just give me a Guinness.
I read somewhere that for a “pure” martini the vermouth should be put in with the ice first, shaken or otherwise slightly disturbed, then poured off. Whatever remains on the ice is all that’s necessary.
I like apple martinis because my feet are firmly planted in my “yummy phase” and I’m not in any hurry to change that. They taste good, or at least better than pure alcohol (vodka, gin) or alcohol and alcohol (vodka/gin + vermouth). Not all apple martinis are made the same.
So far nobody out here seems to have the right balance of sour apple and vodka, of the places I’ve had one in Texas...they either go heavy on one or the other, either giving me something that tastes really good but gives no buzz or one that has me flying after only one glass but tastes like shite. World Cafe and Monsoon, both in Santa Monica, have excellent apple martinis.
More than apple martinis I like midori sours. But it was getting to where bartenders in LA started looking at me funny. God knows what some busy body bartender in Texas might say. I say pour the fucking drink and mind your own business or no tip for you :)
I don’t think I’ll ever really like beer.
The black martini I usually enjoy is a concoction of Ketel One, Chambord and frozen grapes.... but every place makes their flavored martinis a little differently. Greg’s black martini is probably completely different (webtender touts a variety with gin and black sambuca, for example).
Sean, there’s a place here in Chitown that offers a “Blue Sky” martini—Skyy Vodka, Blue Curacao, a splash of lemonade and a lemon twist. One of the most shockingly colored drinks you’ll ever put in your stomach, but damned if it doesn’t taste amazing. (watches Clayton recoil in horror) And props on the midori sours too; tell the bartenders to go to hell.
Miah, that sounds like the blue hawaiians I drank in the meat market bars of Austin during college. All those days spent drinking “girly drinks” cause me to prefer the bitter, dry stuff.
"Girly drinks”...lol. Yeah, I like girly drinks. I think they’re at least one example of ways in which girls may be less masochistic then men.
“Acquired taste”, as it applies to alcoholic beverages, is a euphamism for, “my taste buds are shot so I just wanna get fucked up.” It’s the result of abuse to one’s own body until it just doesn’t care to protest anymore. Putting something in your mouth that your mouth is programmed to tell you is bad is anti-evolutional. Your body tells you something tastes like shite for a reason: it’ll pro’lly kill you. Yeah, we humans like to “out smart” their own survival mechanisms with insane regularity.
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