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“well, you wonder why i always dress in black,
why you never see bright colors on my back,
and why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
well, there’s a reason for the things that i have on.

i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
i wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
but is there because he’s a victim of the times.

i wear the black for those who never read,
or listened to the words that jesus said,
about the road to happiness through love and charity,
why, you’d think he’s talking straight to you and me.

well, we’re doin’ mighty fine, i do suppose,
in our streak of lightnin’ cars and fancy clothes,
but just so we’re reminded of the ones who are held back,
up front there ought ‘a be a man in black.

i wear it for the sick and lonely old,
for the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
i wear the black in mournin’ for the lives that could have been,
each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

and, i wear it for the thousands who have died,
believen’ that the lord was on their side,
i wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
believen’ that we all were on their side.

well, there’s things that never will be right i know,
and things need changin’ everywhere you go,
but ‘til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
you’ll never see me wear a suit of white.

ah, i’d love to wear a rainbow every day,
and tell the world that everything’s ok,
but i’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
‘till things are brighter, i’m the man in black.”

I am ever-so-tired. I shot Holley Ann Dorrough today… Playboy Playmate of the Month April 2006. I felt like an amateur because I was so rusty behind the lens. I never really acknowledged how much of my life I just hard stopped when Erin died. I really forgot how to do everything but breath. Anyhoo, I managed to make it through the shoot just like everything else. I almost fell asleep on the way home and had to call a friend just to stay awake and not weave into the median.

My plan was to nap a bit before my second shoot of the day commencing at 7:30. Nay nay. I barely unloaded the truck and dumped CF before my portrait session arrived. Time for a second wind.

Overall it was a productive day. I ended up going to dinner with some friends I hadn’t seen in some time. We visited and often stumbled over topics that made me think of EL‘s absence. She would have had the best time tonight. We were all about hanging with friends… enjoying conversation and simplicities. Even though the emotions don’t evoke instant nausea like they used to, the pain is just is strong within my chest. Thankfully, the tears can take a number until they can be safely soaked up by my pillow.

After our short night out, Steve and Nichole stayed at my place a while for boob-tube and libations. My little furry critters love it when there is company to assess. Come to find out, they are building a home very near mine. It will be nice to have another set of neighbors to spend time with… I’ve been pretty lonely in 2007. I need to rest. I sincerely wish I had some fabulous tale to share this evening, but at the end of the day, it’s just the same sad story.