The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. - Psalms 34:17-19
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Today marks one month since Erin's death. Many of the days since it happened are just a blur. It feels like years have passed, but it hurts like it was yesterday.
Henry wasn't having anything to do with a haircut. I gave up after the struggle. I walked down to visit with some great neighbor friends. I needed to get out for a bit, but be back before the children around the subdivision started the fireworks so the pets wouldn't be freaked out. Other than a couple of chips, I don't recall eating anything today. I talked to my father-in-law for a bit on the phone and Sean called from El Paso... half way to the land of plastic people and bad air. I still wander the house aimlessly. I ponder things I could do here or there, but can't seem to engage. I thought about going to start Erin's brand new car that is just sitting in the garage... just to turn the engine over... but I couldn't bring myself to sit in it today.
My sweet baby...
Thought of you this morning. One month. Wondering if it would be just another sad day or if it would be an even harder day than the others, if that’s possible. Day by day, going through the motions, as we all tend to do. At least you’re trying to get out, see friends, talk to people. Little steps in the right direction. Progress.
It’s been 5 years to the day today that I lost my first little boy 7 months in the womb. I’m certainly not trying to make any comparisons because the situation is totally different and cannot be compared. What I can say though is with the thoughts and prayers of family and friends one of the most difficult things I ever had to go through, although still painful, is now extremely managable. Not telling you anything new here, but God, time and believing prayer will see you through. I’ve shared your situation with my friends and family and you can be assured they are praying for you daily. :)
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