I’m awake. I want to be asleep.
So after I realized I was up entirely too early this morning without alarm clock provocation, I remembered that I didn't mention the peanut M&M lady last night. This lady comes walking up with her hand in her pocket like she's searching for something. As she is excusing herself into our conversation, she pulls out four candy pieces and displays them in the palm of her hand... one orange peanut M&M, one blue, and two partial pieces sans peanut. She, with the most sincere and serious look and tone, offers them to Ted and I as if her only motive was the desire to share her candy unconditionally. When we politely decline, she throws them on the bar and breaks into this Shakespearian monologue on the struggle and woe of searching for the M&M colors you really like best, always being shorted the favorites, and the struggle of disposing the extras while dreaming of the ones you really wanted. Umm... yeah. It's candy. She wandered off, but kept coming back by our corner of the bar periodically. All we needed to do to get her to leave was pick up her orange and blue M&M and offer them back to her. Problem solved. If it weren't so entertaining, it would have been annoying. The other event or series of events that stand out in my memory as entertainment worth mentioning would be the sheer acts of humiliating stupidity guys go through trying to hit on women in a bar these days. I meant, I realize men have always been stupid for women... it kinda is in the DNA... but what happened? I have to assume that it is environmental and not epidemic. The lines thrown out are even cheesier when spoken (if you can call it speech) in whatever that g-thug/k-fed/white-wif-grillz/anglo-ebonic crap that is so popular in the waste-around-mid-ass culture that has attacked the youth of today. I would try to phonetically deliver a few I heard last night, but I couldn't do it justice... at least not enough to paint the image it deserves. Snap.
youth of today, hey? At what age did you think that would first come out of your mouth? Or fingers, as it were…
Oh, I’ve said it before… it just seems to come out more frequently now.
I think there were a few marker flags along the way to this point. Some examples: The first time I was talking to a girl that was around 21-ish and realized the extreme disconnect in what we both considered intellectual conversation. The first time I was talking to a guy around 21-ish and stricken with horror at the thought I might have been that irritating and socially uncoordinated at that age. The first time in a check-out line at the market and the little “minimum age to purchase” sign displayed a year I was in high school… meaning there are people out there legally drinking that theoretically I could have fathered. Oh, and the first time I realized at public gatherings where the mothers became so much more attractive than their young adult daughters. Age doesn’t really define anything about someone, but I must admit that the observation of similarities in age groups makes it easy to stereotype. My statements are meant as generalizations of course… there are exceptions to all cases. I guess I should have said “those youths of today”. :-)
I think i remember her name was Leslie ...
heh - I find the whole age thing quite bizarre. I haven’t worked out quite where I belong, really. I guess it’s living in a University town. My recent foray with my football friends was a good example. I knew I had more in common with the fathers than their adult sons, but somehow I couldn’t get my head around their age group. Nor the sons, for that matter. It’s quite disconcerting when someone you could have mothered starts to flirt. Boys and their beer goggles, hey?
ok, I didn’t expect to comment on the comments here but that’s what I’m gonna do. The first time I heard my son and his friends say “MILF” I knew I had definitely crossed into a knew realm.
Clayton, it sounds like you seem to find the most interesting places no matter where you go. How do you do it?
I’m not sure how this works or if i am just imagining it so correct me if I am wrong. Why is it that when a fellow tries to meet women it is so much more difficult that when he is not looking?
Fat guys are stripper magnets!
tick tick tick tick
that’s time by the way..
lol
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