Happier times…
I am constantly walking the perspective tight rope these days trying not to fall off. Juggling the fragments… trying to hold it all together. I ran across this print of me giggling about something from a few years ago. I remember the way I felt all the time back then like I watched it on a TV show. I had a little emotional moment this evening that made me evaluate my progress and the whole efficiency of keeping the balls in the air while going on with everyday life and not dropping one. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. Whatever. It still sucks just as bad. I have just had more time to slap mortar between the bricks. Another few feet on the ‘ole wall and the contractors are filling the moat with alligators and piranha. I don’t know what to say other than I’m here. Sometimes barely and not the same. I should have TIVO’d myself.
First day back at the gym was boss. They replaced the broken Treadclimbers with new ones and I have decided it is my favorite cardio machine. I still need to pack for tomorrow. Since I won’t have the time or means to go to a gym while there, I’m going to bring clothes to work out at the hotel.
Did you read this? Interesting. Time to go work in the yard a little more, eh? Visit the beach. Take a multivitamin. et al.
I’m off to Dallas. Cheerio.
I’ve often wondered when I read your blog if you feel like there is a certain pace that your healing should have. It’s been what, 10 months? Seems like you’re doing fine if you ask me.
Enjoy Dallas. It’s muggy as hell up here!
Dang Clayton - why couldn’t you be in Dallas last week when I was there?!
kristi,
no. no pace expectation. actually, the expectation was to not heal. however, i am not sure i’m in any position to judge.
11 months-ish. may as well have been last week.
susan,
the reason is because i avoid dallas as much as possible.
I just thought about something. Didn’t you say that you didn’t have any local services after she passed? I know you went to her parents and attended a service there, but do you think that with the one year anniversary coming up that you might benefit from a service here?
I don’t know that it would or would NOT but it was just something I was thinking about today.
lol…
you are right. it is just one foot in front of the other.. just moving now while it still hurts.
instead of doing nothing and sitting there while it hurts.
and each day that we do this.
in teeny tiny little bits.
we will all be taught acceptance…
Post a comment