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Fuck. Today is not going so well for me. The downhill slide started when I got up waaaaay to early and couldn't go back to sleep. My head felt like it was full of water. I sloshed my ass down to this Thai place near my house for some curry chicken. I have history with spicy food and restaurants. They never make the "spicy" dish spicy enough. I carefully and painfully explain with great patience to the waiter exactly how I wanted my dish prepared. I wanted to be able to take it outside and throw it on the hood of a car and watch the paint bubble off. I wanted to be able to remove driveway grease stains with it. I wanted him to be crying as he carried it to my table from just the fumes alone. I was 100% confident that he understood my instructions (including calling the chef a pussy and relaying that I didn't think he had the balls to make it hot). The resulting abortion contained less Scoville Heat Units than a jar of Gerber 1st Food peaches. Motherfuckers. Fuck them all... incompetent cocksucking bastards. I was livid... and extremely hungry, so I just ate it and left. The coffee shop fucked up my latte. Bitches. I thought, after the way my day started, that I'd move my Sunday pampering up a day because I deserve it and because surely my service hell wouldn't roll over into a third incident. I subsequently receive THE WORST manicure and pedicure I have ever experienced in my life. FUCK! You know the Seinfeld soup nazi? I was the Houston tip nazi today. If you look up over-tipper in the dictionary, there is a picture of me with cash in my hand. Not today. Fucktards. So, I am bummed because it's nasty ass weather still and everything is just going crappy AND I still don't feel great. Ring ring. Not-necessarily-a-date girl was calling to postpone/potentially cancel this evenings rendezvous. We haven't not-really-seen-each-other in a week and a half and I was looking forward to this evening. At this point, I'm waiting for the sniper bullet to put the cherry on top of my afternoon. So, I'm home and I'm gonna get purdied up and go see my good friend Harry and his partner Eric play some geeetar and fuck everybody else. Oh, btw, Lords of Acid are playing tonight but I don't have anyone to go with so fuck all. Motherfuck. FUCK. I just can't say fuck enough. I stopped by Whole Food Market and bought a nice red that I'm about to uncork and drink (the whole fucking bottle) before I leave tonight. They (Harry and Eric) are playing at Stag's Head in Shepherd Plaza in case anyone wants to see me fucking wasted. I'll be the guy either naked, masturbating in brandy snifters on top of the bar -or- laying in a puddle of my own vomit and urine somewhere in a corner. It'll be good fun and I intend to keep the day rolling in shit like it has been thus far. Fuck off.