Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed this morning. Let me start by clarifying that if all the lights are off at a residence (interior, exterior, etc.), this generally means "don't fucking trick or treat here you greedy little pieces of shit". Apparently this was too much to assimilate for some children in our neighborhood that thought they'd find paydirt by ringing our doorbell from a pitch black porch after EL was already in bed asleep for the night. When we didn't answer the door, they kept ringing. So this really begs the question: where were they parents? More so, what the fuck is wrong with parents today? Generally unqualified to breed, these people continue to amaze me with their ineptness at sculpting these small mammals into a productive human beings. If Halloween trick or treat etiquette were the only thing they failed to pass along to their offspring, it wouldn't be all that bad. Parenting techniques like never saying no or speaking negatively to a child attempting to nurture a free spirit and avoid damaging their emotive conscience is, in effect, not teaching them any boundaries whatsoever. Children without boundaries today are the problem adults of tomorrow. They are the people that will fail before their families or end up in jail. They are the people that will most likely be people I dislike beyond words. Yay parents! You guys are doing a great job fucking up tomorrows society. Go buy yourself something from Pottery Barn to celebrate. All of this has nothing to do with animal crackers in case you may not have surmised at this juncture. I had the mother of all road trip snackeries for breakfast this morning. Beef jerky. Beef jerky on a road trip is like waking up thinking you have to go to work and realizing it's a four-day weekend. It's like CRSV on crushed ice or a spontaneous blowjob. Beef jerky is right up there in the hall of fame with bacon and bean dip. Vegetarians don't eat beef jerky. So as I was sipping my post-jerky coffee thinking about how great that feast was and how I could have sprayed those kids with icy cool water from the garden hose last night instead of sending them away peacefully, I stumbled upon a small bag of animal crackers. Jackpot! Animal crackers and coffee for desert. It's not like creme brulée after chateaubriand , but it's not quite sugar on a spoon after fried SPAM either. It was just right. It was just what I needed.
I think you bring up many great points here. Among the things you noted, I was shocked the first time that I noticed parents DRIVING in their cars to watch their kids trick or treat. How damn hard is it to walk with them? We have custody of my two kids from my first marriage (they’re now 18 and 16) as well as my nusband’s daughter from his first marriage (she’s now 12). I damn near passed out the first time I heard his exwife say that their daughter was her best friend. I mean, come on! It is NOT my job to be a friend to my children. It IS my hope that I raise kids to be responsible adults that I will enjoy being friends with when they are adults, not when they’re still trying to figure out what kind of person they want to be.My kids have friends whose parents NEVER say no, or friends whose parents continue to buy them new cars for them to wreck, time after time. It drives me nuts! My kids have always had to account for their time, who they are around, and what their plans are when they are outside of our home. As a result, I’ve got kids that other parents compliment on a regular basis. They’re responsible (most of the time) and though they have strict rules, they seldom let me down. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying they’re perfect, but they’re pretty good kids.
If some little shit would have woken me up by repeatedly banging on my door, I would have opened it up and grabbed their candy right out of their grubby little hands. Then, when their parents showed up to get it back (if ever) I would have happily tossed it in their face. Your restraint is to be commended!
dude - chill out - it’s halloween. One time a year. I’d be more concerned about the rednecks that let their kids play with fireworks.
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