this page intentionally left blank

Overall it was a relaxing evening with none of the emotional breakdown of the previous night. I spent most of the day with busy work in the office and had a meeting in the afternoon that sort of finished things up. Sam stopped by for a couple of beers and we chatted about geeky work stuff. He recently started at an IDS/IPS shop and seems to like it quite well. He ran out of beer about the time he left and I started foraging for sustenance in my barren kitchen. I really should have bought more schtuff at the grocery yesterday. I watched "When Harry Met Sally" (again) over a bottle of wine before trying to sleep. So far, this morning has not started well. Although I know it is to be expected, I just can't find shelter from this sadness that consumes me. I keep praying that it is time that I need and I just need to be patient and wait for things to get better. I've begun to find some humor in the suggestions people offer "that will help" my recovery. Bless their hearts. Remember the movie "Strange Days"? It's the one where people could put on these recording devices that would record everything the brain was interpreting to the sensory systems... everything you saw, felt both physically and emotionally, tasted, and smelled... the whole gambit, but without the thoughts. If I were an evil, twisted, and terrible man, I would record some of my moments to share with all the self proclaimed therapists. I desperately need to clean my house. My general apathy has cause clutter to build into a larger issue. It's probably not as bad as I'm painting, but I know it is much easier to keep a lived in home clean than one where you simply exist. I am still driving the Honda around this week. I need to change the oil in my truck so I've just been commuting the short distance to the office in Erin's car. What I really need to do is sell it. Time. I just need time. Well, I'm off to a client site this morning. The decay of my wellbeing has left me with little to say. Sorry.