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Too cloudy to see anything... but clouds, of course. I have a ton of snapshots on my cameraphone and my cam that I just don't have time to post at the moment. My first day back at work is already crazy busy and it's getting worse.

The hands of time are a killer, no? Easter dinner was to be had a Jason's relative's over the Bremerton ferry in the most picturesque village of Port Orchard. It was to be traditional fare... ham, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, and apple turnovers made with the very apples grown in the front yard. Although the conversation was plentiful and the company accommodating, I found myself struggling to hold back the tears of my loss. My first Easter dinner without my most precious love, what was I to do? Even still, I am not certain. Like yesterday and the day before that, I somehow survived, yet I am empty and without peace. The night sped on. The almost-one-hour Bremerton ferry passage that we took to the island was unavailable and the Southworth ferry was not leaving again for several hours, so we decided to take the tragic and historic Tacoma Narrows Bridge back to the Emerald City. Not wishing undue fatigue on the night before our early departure, we landed in the Red Fin. Attached to the hotel, it was convenient and accessible. There was some sort of altercation at the bar that only some hours after became clear as to the details and sequence of events. A young couple, James and Kira, from Ireland, were in town on holiday and had quite easily, and without second thought, used local (to them) colloquialisms in conversation that deeply offended a potentially-compensating-for-something young Seattleite. We don't toss around "prick" and "cunt" the way the Brits and Irish do in our everyday vernacular. It's a natural for someone well traveled to understand, but this particular chap was circumstantially ignorant. Kira, the bonnie lass, was inconsolable and as much as I wish I could make it "all better" for her, she was quite mental. James was intoxicated beyond the comfortable reach of his equilibrium. I'm quite at ease with foreign travelers while simultaneously, mildly embarrassed by the less fortunate American majority in situations such as this... I could only think of saving them from this fate. It wasn't to be. Jason and I excused ourselves for deeper glasses and a more quiet dungeon. The morning came early. Wake up call, alarm clock, and cell timer were barely sufficient. I'm OCD and a wee bit insecure about oversleeping on the last day of a trip. It has a lot to do with my inability to bed down early when I know the end is near. The coffee shop near our hotel, without contest, serves the best café latte I've ever experienced. Our normal barista, Ashley from Alaska, was not around this sunrise, but the "home of the velvet foam" was just as satisfying. I don't know if I mentioned hiking the trails, beach, and overlook of Discovery Park yesterday, but it was as memorable for me as the trip to Rainier. Much like the old Pioneer Square architecture reminds me of Paris, the adoration and abundance of dogs in Seattle proper reminds me of France. So often, my thoughts were punctuated by my thoughts of how my wife would love and embrace the moment. How cruel and unfair is this existence without her? There is no answer worth the breath it is carried upon however, I struggle with each taste embraced by my palette, the light taken in by my eyes, and all riding upon it. Prayers of gratitude and humbly wishing to live again are fumbled through while others think about stuffed, colored eggs and an oversized rabbit. As I sit on this aircraft, settling my gin and tonic(s), I consider how this trip has been an exercise in fortunate reflection. I miss home. I miss burying my head in Henry's soft coat and breathing him in... the faint, distant purr of Penelope as I drift into a self-medicated sleep. I miss being wrapped in the memories held within the meager walls of her home. Sometimes, love is simply lost.

Tired and frustrated at the irony of the weather, I am well into my last full day here. The day before yesterday was beautiful and sunny... picturesque. Yesterday, we drove to Mt. Rainier National Park to take in some fresh air and perhaps make a few frames. The weather was rainy and overcast. I don't mind the dreary (and typical) Seattle weather, but it was a shame to have missed the gorgeous, clear skies of the day before. We couldn't even see the 14,110 foot peak from the forest edge lining the park (about 15 miles from the summit). I took snapshots that will likely end up in the trash... mostly with my camera on my cellphone. When we finally got back to Seattle last night, we headed to Capitol Hill for some grub. Byzantine Greek was how the coin toss landed and it was fantastic. The best greek I've ever had, actually. There is an anime convention going on in town, so the streets were busy with costumed enthusiasts. We stopped at a trendy little water hole on the way back to the hotel where Jason sampled a "Buddha Samba" margarita (tamarind infused tequila, lime juice, jalapeño syrup, and a cumin-salt rim). Not fond of sweet drinks, I opted for whiskey. We received some tips on schtuff to do today from locals before calling it a night. Today, far away from the photo-op boonies we were at in the rainy, dark yesterday, the sun is shining brightly and the skies are clear. Unfortunately, we have dinner plans across Puget Sound. Due to ferry times to reach the island, we won't have time to drive back and thus, no photos this trip. Murphy's Law.

It's wet this morning... and overcast. I need some coffee.

Today was this and that... mostly good things. Dinner tonight was fantastic. We dined at Pier 70... I think it was The Waterfront, but I didn't pay much attention to print. The sunset over Puget Sound and the meal were enough. Spicy crab bisque made with palo cortado sherry and Johnnie Walker Red Label... the Alaskan king salmon, Australian lobster, diver sea scallops, wild prawns, Barents Sea red king crab leg, oven roasted tomatoes, asparagus, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, and crab macaroni and cheese (Dungeness crab, sherry, sharp white cheddar)... superb. I can't imagine a better venue than Dimitriou's Jazz Alley to see Jeff Hamilton, John Clayton, and Monty Alexander reunite after 32 years to tear it up together once again. Jeff is an epic percussionist and a real treat to witness. I'm ready for more, but my body thinks it's almost two and I suppose a little nap is in order. ps. Much like television, if you don't like the programming here, change the channel. It is, after all, what the first amendment seems to be about. I don't try (ever) to be directly insulting, belittleing, slanderous, or misrepresenting here, but rather just spill thoughts as they happen to occur... inaccurate or otherwise. Understand that this blogournal, complete with its low rent disparate exposure, is nothing more than can be considered fiction to everyone but me... if you think it to be something else, then I am truly sorry.

A few snapshots taken while kicking around the blocks adjacent to the hotel. We're just downtown near the water. There isn't a need for an auto, but I'm hoping to get closer to the countryside while here so my camera might stretch its legs a bit. There is no shortage of culture here and Seattle is every bit as enjoyable to me as I remember from my long-ago visit. I believe we are off to begin a pub crawl, so details of the day will have to wait for another time... -c

cute

*the* original Starbucks... complete with the original nippled logo

Puget Sound view... Rainier to the left, Olympics to the right

the streets are buzzing with live music

Pike Place from the Earth

Pike Place from the sea

my hotel thinks of everything, no?

ps. There is an apartment building that shares the block with the hotel. Out of curiosity, I checked the rental rates... 1 bedroom, 1 bath, 511 square feet: $4750.00 US per month (not counting deposits)

"There's a prepared bong and a nice supply of hydro waiting for you in the room, sir", the concierge said as he slid the small, arty cards across the horizontal desk type surface toward me. Obviously making a joke about our room number, I thanked him and made my way upstairs. The post modern decor is quite art-centric with small splashes of Austin Powers-ish fembot shagadellic randiness. The room is small, but very comfortable. The Red Fin next door to MAX has a great happy hour menu to graze from during their 10 to 1 happy hour nightly. Jason's plane had a fuel leak and he ended up delayed in LAX until the wee hours of the morning. I took a limo downtown so he would have the car when he finally arrive. I've not been in Seattle in over a decade, but I already remember some of the reasons I liked it. Our room has a great view of downtown, but I can't see breakfast from here, so we're off to start the day.

Pirates > Ninjas

Guy Forsyth is having a baby. Seriously. I didn't even know he was pregnant, but it (they don't know the sex) is due in 2 weeks... Mary if a girl and Jack if a boy. I remembered what I was going to write about yesterday, but I have to admit, it will not likely be as exciting to you as it was to me. Since sometime after Orville and Wilbur did their thing until just recently, if you ever needed to update your information registered with the Federal Aviation Administration, you had to write a formal letter and mail it in. I discovered yesterday afternoon that I could now create an account on their website and update my license info online, submit it, and wait a day or two... *poof* done. That's fantastic. Anyhoo, that was it really. I have a psychological issue with taxes. There mere thought of doing a tax return makes me freak with discomfort. I've often written that I would prefer to just pay a flat rate and let them keep it than deal with the IRS. I don't know where it came from and how it has developed into this, but it is here. Today I must attempt to trudge through not only refiling last years return that apparently was lost in transit, but also filing this years return. Erin always did them and she was quite good at it. I am really not looking forward to this...

I thought of something pressing to post this afternoon... I did. I made a note: go home and blog this. A few double Crowns and about 8 beers later, I honestle can not remember what it was I was going to tell you... but, I suppose, it's the thought that counts.

you used to captivate me by your resonating light now I'm bound by the life you left behind... these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase...

I had a busy day yesterday. Meetings all morning into the afternoon left little time to get things done in the lab that I needed to finish. It all was a blur. By the time I got home in the afternoon, I was ready for a nap. Instead, I drove up to the local spot EL and I used to go and got a spa mani/pedi. The folks in there always remember me from her and ask how I am when I go in for service. I was caught off guard this time when one of the girls asked me if I'd started dating again. I said no as I digested the question. It is a thought so uncomfortable to me that I have trouble verbalizing the whirlwind in my mind on the subject. I am a very emotional, sentimental, and romantic guy that is completely worthless without a woman in his life. Statistically speaking, the best parts of me come alive when I have someone with whom to direct my affection. I just can't draw a line... straight, squiggly, or otherwise... from where I am right now to where I could be in a relationship with someone besides my wife. I am quite certain that I could be in a physical relationship and if I could get past the emotional disconnect it would likely be healthy for my overactive libido. I can't seem to sort it out. How unfair could that be for a woman to know second place would always have to be good enough? Unacceptably unfair in my opinion. Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud. The point I was trying to get around to is that the manicurist really sucker punched me with that question and it started me thinking about just how broken I am. That's all. On another note, I got my eyebrows waxed while I at it. I feel sorry for all the blokes out there too insecure to get some periodic maintenance at a spa/salon. Contrary to Appendix A of the NASCAR handbook, your penis will not fall off and another end up in your mouth if you partake this sort of housecleaning. The rain here continues on and off throughout each day. I'd rather it storm and be over than this dreary drizzle. I'm hoping my mother and step-dad come up to my place early (meaning tonight) so we can grill out and spend some time visiting before I leave on Thursday. I need to get back in the lab... ciao.

I spent most of my day either here or on my way to and from said "here". Henry and I road tripped to what ended up being Antiquapalooza. My father and his better half have a tent set up in Warrenton for what must be the single most decadent display of arts, crafts, and antiques that I've ever seen in one location. Everyone knows about Brenham and the spottings of this sort through out the historic Texas "Hill Country", but this was just obscene. One could start at 8 aye emm sharp with a packed lunch and canteen and never see it all before midnight. If EL were with me, I might not have been able to get here to leave. She would have loved it. The wildflowers were in full bloom and the Bluebonnets were brilliant along US-290 and it was a beautiful day for feeling lonely. Friday night I took Barrett to see Negrodamus. I always new Paul Mooney's comedy was borderline militant toward "the white man", but sitting at a stageside table 3 feet from the man confirmed it. His show was great and despite it all, I seemed to have survived. Yesterday I finally caved and purchased an iPod. It really was a series of long-time-coming little things that built upon one another. The straw that broke the camels back was my trying to purchase music online and being forced to upgrade to the new iTunes (presumably to update the DRM encoding) to do so. I don't usually purchase entire albums, but more so songs that I like from albums. The only reasonable way to get an MP3 product from a digital purchase when the RIAA is assprinting every byte is to burn the song to audio CD and then re-rip it to MP3. This works great when you can access the CDBB on the stage two rip, but if it is a single song, then you lose all the ID3 info unless you actually type it in yourself. This will simply not work for me, so I buy them with the DRM embedded and live with it. Now, with said iPod, my license authorization is carried over and I can forego MP3 CD's and just use the player. This sequence of events coincides the timeframe Jason's grandmother purchased him an iPod adapter for the model stereo I have in my truck, but he does not own. The details are really inconsequential at this point, the underlying message is: free adapter for said new iPod. Urs and Sandra are in town visiting. They are not staying with me, but at Sam's a few blocks away. It is bittersweet seeing them... I miss them and they are dear friends, but they were our dear friends, not just mine. Seeing them reminds me of the times EL and I had with them before they moved back to Europe. Seeing their little girl reminds me of how much she would have loved to be here with her. It's all quite emotional for me. I would have stayed at my father's longer today, but today is Urs's birthday. There will be a carnivorous feast tonight and I'm almost certain beer and whiskey will be involved. Too bad it's a school night. I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a new potential client. Oh, btw, I took Urs for Meatcake last night and it was delicious. It wasn't as good as I've had it before, but still nice. As I am typing this, I just realized that I eat out entirely too much. I've probably treated friends and coworkers to $500 in lunches and dinners in the last two weeks. That isn't really SOP for me, but I think it's because I've been making an effort to leave the house and do things... with people. I'm terribly lonely most of the time and meeting for a meal is a normal and easy thing that just happens. Being a hermit might be easier now that I think of it. Seeing all those happy couples browsing antiques today definitely stung a bit. I do however, have to attend the birthday gathering this evening for Urs. Just like always, I'll do my best to be "ok". I'm going to start going to the gym again. I'm in the worst shape of my life. I'll likely not ever get back to that 7% body fat sixpack I had in my mid to late 20's, but I'll just be happy with having more energy and feeling healthy. Also, I ordered a 2007 issue of the Federal Aviation Regulations. I plan on writing the FAA this week to request a reprint of my license and eventually get back behind the yoke of an aircraft. It's not much more than a whim at the moment, but it's a step toward doing something with my time.