Once upon a time, I was happy.
"hey hey i said
near as i can figure
You gave me life now
show me how to live..."
If I were to fall into the average life span category for a male homosapien in this land of blended morality margins and chemically enhanced, overprocessed foods (a.k.a. the artist formerly known as the United States of America) and not fall under the premature category via accidental drowning (God bless you EL), a freak stingray barb to the heart (Crikey!), catching a stray bullet during a liquor store robbery gone awry, or other similarly random tragedy, then I would be right about 50% through my journey here on our good yet abused mother Earth. If that half of the path was descriptively scribbled into a large tomb bound in fine artisan leatherwork with textured vignettes of the many trials and tribulations of Me... and were opened to the first page, you would likely read that introductory sentence. "Once upon a time, I was happy." I see happiness around me. I have faith that I might find it again someday beyond fleeting moments here and there... someday.
I had some happy moments this weekend. I had some unhappy ones too, but mostly it was good. Friday afternoon, I drove to my mothers with the pups. Fast forward a few long-weekend days, yummy cookouts, sunsets over the ocean, and time spent with special friends and family and you will find me back at work in my dark, cold office wishing I was somewhere else. Being home was nice. When I sat down last night, Henry immediately curled in my lap and fell asleep as if he found the comfort of his castle and could relax. I could watch his little chest rise and fall while he sleeps for hours. I had a terrible tension in my neck that was causing a lot of discomfort last night. I took some pain killers and tried to relax with some liver candy on the couch. I had a lot of trouble finding sleep despite my comfort at home, but remember only waking once through the night. I don't remember dreaming.
A rudderless ship adrift in the sea of life's contemplation is not unlike the broken pieces of me.