this page intentionally left blank

This baby jay was still unsure of flight. Momma Jay was a few branches away to make such everything was all good.

After a few tall ones at The Flying Saucer downtown, I met up with Mike for the Puddle of Mud, Nickelback, and 3 Doors Down concert. I can't say that I'm necessarily a fan, but he offered the free ticket and the seats were great, so I was down with it. We had a good time and I enjoyed the music. Nickelback definitely upstaged the other bands by a huge margin. They completely tore the roof off the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion with old school rock antics including throwing gallons of beer into the crowd, lots of pyrotechnics, walls of fire, and even some Metallica covers. Of course, they are mere children compared to my man Vaden, but for a over produced radio whoring band, they rocked the house... all ~20,000 of them. So after the show we drank... a lot. Well, we drank during the show, but since you can't get straight Crown Royal at the little Pavilion kiosks, we had to move to greener pastures. This morning, EL and I went to buy a lawn hedge trimmer. We went to Lowe's and selected the model we wanted, paid, and left. When we got home, I went to change clothes... throw on some grubbies to get sweaty in the yard in... she opened the box. Un-fucking-real. Someone had apparently purchased our "new" trimmer and put thrie old, beat-to-shit-, broken one (a different brand and model entirely) in the box, resealed it, and returned it to the store... where they reshelved it for us to purchase. Yippie. I don't even think reshelved is a word. The bitches better take that trimmer back or there is going to be some urban terror going on... ahem. Yeah. So anyhoo, I have to work tomorrow night. Nothing like kicking off the new month with some corporate after hours mumbo jumbo. Golf in the morning... maybe. Trying to relax this weekend. You know how it goes...

Slowly, I feel like progress is being made. I am creeping up on almost being able to I'm ahead of schedule. I hate schedules.

I have to say, C, their new song ("She's not home"(?)) was something special to hear. The more and more I hear it, and being witness to The Todd perform it, I like "Conditional" better with each listen. I wish I had a magic machine that would transport me to one of their performances anytime I'm feeling down. It would do more than any liquor, drug or confection to improve my mood. I guess I'll just have to be satisfied with their DVD when it finally sees the light of day. Curled up on the sofa with your tail between your legs I won't pretend that I know you, but I wish just one time I could get inside your head All the treasures that you're hiding All your secrets never safe Are adding up to lines of frustration I read it on your face You know I love you even when you run away from me But I don't want to chase you any more So if you have to go away then I won't make you stay Just lie awake and listen for the door With a lack of direction With eyes sad and red In need of affection You wind up on my bed And all the treasures that you're hiding You know they're never safe with me Won't let you be my god Won't let you be my slave What else is there left to be You know I love you even when you run away from me But I don't want to chase you any more So if you have to go away then I won't make you stay Just lie awake and listen for the door

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life --until the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies...nothing... only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" "I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing,' he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." "Oh, this?' replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, but, that's impossible,' stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?" "Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." Ed is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?" "No, no, thank you.' he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. "Wow! This woman is amazing!" he muses, "What next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean---", he swallows excitedly, "I can check my email from here?!"

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question? "What do women really want?" Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered.... is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night? Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments? Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, said that he would allow her to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, underneath it all, she's still a witch. Whaaaaat? It's just a joke.

WTF? Naps kick ass. I am revitalizing my campaign to institute the famed siesta in good 'ole Estados Unidos. I'm slipping here. I feel like I need to regain some temporal control in my daily grind because minutes are slipping through my digits with frequent periodicity. Buh-bye consciousness. Buh-bye. What the fuck day of the week is it again? "I know you're coming The same every year A fat man invasion This time I'm ready Come along, fat man, Santa Santa, fat man, bastard In the malls and the markets you hide Well I'm patient, and I'm waiting outside One Santa falls down Outside a darkened thrift town Baby Jesus smiles down I am happy Come along, fat man, Santa Santa, fat man, bastard. Big lobbies, street corners, you haunt. I'll be free of disease once more. One Santa falls down outside a diners windown Baby Jesus smiles and I am happy You ever seen a Santa run? Well it's so damn funny. Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus please. Makes me giggle! I know you're coming The same every year A fat man invasion This time I'm ready Come along, fat man, Santa Santa, fat man, bastard. The true meaning of Christmas is love, of fat man wrapped up in a red box. One Santa falls down In his own apartment Baby Jesus smiles down I am holy! SANTA!!! SANTA!!! Santa you are a fat man"

Come on down I want to meet you I want to meet you all All you angels gather round Shower all your beauty down All you angels gather round I want to meet you all Gather round you angels Let me lay my hands on you Come on down you angels I want to touch you all Come on down you angels I want to meet you all Come on down I want to meet you All you angels gather round Shower all your beauty down All you angels gather round I want to meet you all Daddy's tired. The number of hours of sleep over the weekend can be counted on my itsy digits with some nails to spare. I was up a few minutes after four this morning for the drive to SA with Bob. EL and Henry dropped me off and I've been going ever since save the short snack at Texas Land and Cattle. It seems like I *just* made this drive. Duh. The thing that sucks the worst about it that I have to drive back tonight and be at work at the normal time tomorrow. Yippie.

Ugg. Early.

"Y'all are so good lookin' I wanna jump out there and eat yer assholes." - Casey I said woo... Sean's flight was on time, but at a late hour Friday. Urs and his guest (also Urs ironically) joined me in the pick-up. The four of us found our way to Houston's Rhythm Room for one of Guy Forsyth's first shows since his return from the Netherlands. A good time was had by all. Saturday seemed to fly by and Sean and I road tripped to San Marcos from some unadulterated rock courtesy of none other than Vaden Lewis. I can't even find the words to describe how amazing that show was... speechless. One of the personal highlights for me was Vaden's solo performance of the thought-to-be-retired Tyler. It truly doesn't get much better than that... I'm convinced. Sean and I made it back to Houston around 7:30 this morning after a night of no sleep and having our faces rocked off LAMF. He was missing his better half in a bad way, so he jumped on the first flight out to see her. That boy is head over heel retarded in love with her and I'm so very happy for him. There isn't a man on Earth that deserves it more... he is rare in this day and age. I was going to have to do some circuit maintenance tonight in the datacenter, but Joe is covering for me because I'm headed back to San Antonio in the morning around 5:00. Sean's only been gone a handful of hours and I already miss him. I can't wait to see him again.

Old pics Sean, but it's me.

Ok. The trip pics are finally up here.

Gooseberry Falls

Work has been killing me. I'm really sorry, but I just haven't had a spare second to write anything. My project plans in San Antonio are solidifying and it looks like I'm going to be living gout of a hotel for a while. Too many things to do here and just not enough time to do them. Ugh!