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As I settled into my desk this morning in the office, I got this strange feeling I'd just been here... maybe because I'd just been here. I am so tired. I am swilling coffee. My VP just stopped by my office and we pretended like we enjoy talking to each other. I hope it wasn't too transparent... my wit is dulled from lack of sleep. My office is cluttered. I need to do laundry at home... and pack for my weekend. I'm hungry. I'm just bitchy in general this morning. As if mornings didn't suck enough as it is... mornings subsequent to late nights that didn't involve anything fun are the worst. Which is interesting to me... why an early morning after staying up for work is more difficult than an early morning after a night of non-work and fun... I think it's psychological, but maybe I could get a few million in government grants to hold a study. They give money away for all kinds of shit. I could probably get money to research the emotional repercussions a zucchini feels after being told it is fat while watching Happy Days reruns if I wanted to... the US government never ceases to amaze me. So, I found out this morning that Continental Airlines (now officially ICSB) charged me $202 to change Sean's ticket on the 2nd when he flew back to Houston to catch his LA connection. This brings the total to: $285.00 for ticket that they wouldn't let me use because of their security policy (total bullshit) even after they (Continental agent) told me I could + $202.00 for changing Sean's flight after they ticketed us on another flight without telling us + $168.00 for one way back to Houston to unfuck situation surrounding ticket they wouldn't let me use = $655.00 wasted American dollars due to Continental Airlines and their fucking ridiculous ICSB staff and slowly spiraling to shit policy. Where do I even begin to raise hell about this? One thing that bothers me is my inability to find the original confirmation that shows mine and Sean's flight to leave at 11:30... something I know I had because I printing a million schedule calendars using it. Oy vey! It is cold this morning in Houston. I feel colder here than I did in Colorado because of the humidity. Brrrrrrr! In my sleepiness this morning, I dressed myself in short sleeves. Idiot. I am contemplating pouting boiling coffee on my exposed skin to fight this creeping hypothermia. I would kill for a hot tub right now. What if you could just snap your fingers and replace morning visits from Vice Presidents, sleepy and thick morning thoughts, cold and uncomfortable morning chill, and hours of workday filled with tedium with things like big beds with overstuffed comforters, champagne, dark chocolate dipped fresh strawberries, and hot tubs filled with bubble bath soap. *snap* *snap* fuck. *snap* This is not working. Maybe if I hit myself in the head with a hammer?

Have I turned into a pumpkin yet? I need sleep. I need food. I need EL.

...not necessarily in that order.

motherfucker.

i am STILL at work.

I'm borderline carpel tunneled out. I'm back in the office waiting on go-time for this evolution that has me walking the dark halls of corporate hell way past my parole. The only redeeming things that have happened since I was here last was a deluxe mixed nut extravaganza in my kitchen topping off Chinese delivery leftovers from last night and a wonderful call from my girlfriend... not in that order. She always manages to put a smile on my face regardless of my mood. I like finding shit in my desk at work that I thought I lost. It's almost always good stuff... like a jazz CD that I misplaced or my favorite calculator (how geeky is that shit?)... or a cool pen I had forgotten about... almost always good. Well, tonight I found a picture of me and Greg holding cigars and martinis at Downing Street and let me tell you... it was not good. I mean, don't get me wrong... I dig that Greg and I were together and I love a good cigar and martini, but I am in probably THE WORST shape of my life in this photo. I looked at it and saw my dad... that scares the shit out of me. I mean, I have been up and down in the personal fitness department over the last 5 years... more down than up I would assume. A desk job will do that to you over time if you're not careful... that and drinking. I don't drink much these days compared to yesteryear. I almost always at least give the food I eat a tiny slice of time in the thought machine before devouring... not that I could ever be a complete health nut, but I've come close in my late 20's. I miss that feeling of ripped abs and tasteful definition... not that veiny Mr. Bulky shit you see in fitness magazines. I could be there again in less than 6 months if I lived it... maybe a year if I sorta lived it moderately... fuck though... that is such a commitment of time. It's time that I struggle to find the will to free these days. I have however, decided that half of the decision has been made for me. It's easy as a single man to fall into the pattern of "fuck it" when pondering such topics, but I've always believed that one should put just as much effort into personal fitness and hygiene for their mate as they do for themselves, so I'm getting my ass back in great shape for her and me both... but mostly for her. The me still wants chilaquilies and refried beans, cold beer and chili cheese burgers, and bacon... lots of bacon. Yeah. My eyes hurt. I'm tired and I want to sleep. Anyhoo, it's time for the work work work... I am not diggin' this.

Mixed nuts with no peanuts ROCK!

whoopideedoo... still at work... just found out i have to come in at 10 for more work... just found out that since the guy that was supposed to come in for the server group can't make it, they gave me some temp admin rights on his servers to do his job too... so i guess that it's double work night for me... work work work... wooooooorrrrrrrrkkkkkkkk....

when is the play?

You know what I could use right now? ...besides a drink?





This day is sucks. Please hurry Saturday.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ok. I was pulled from my "very important" meeting to attend to a "critical problem requiring immediate resolution". WTF? Maybe I should fucking saw my ass in pieces like a pie so everyone can have a slice. Leave. me. alone! Anyhoo, I fixed it. Fuck it. I'm not going back to the meeting. I just heard that a very good friend of mine has resigned his position as of this morning. This completely took me by surprise. He negotiated a deal with another company and is taking a risk in moving... especially with the troubled times everyone in IT is in right now... hell, everyone for that matter. Anyhoo, although a little freaked out (and understandably so), his wife is being supportive and that makes all the difference in situations like that... support from friends and family. I wish him well. Man... that is a ballsy move these days... sounds like something I would do. Heh. That was a tasty bar-b-que turkey sandwich I had at lunch. I could use a little more of that yumm yumm about right now. Me hunger.

Sean provides the quote of the day: "Some people should be replaced with software."
So true... oh so true my brother.

I am living on the edge! I ate at Luther's bar-b-que for lunch wearing light khaki slacks and a white shirt with no casualties! Fuck you Mr. drippin'-wif-sauce-turkey-po-boy! w00t!

Quando fra l'altre donne ad ora ad ora
Amor vien nel bel viso di costei,
quanto ciascuna è men bella di lei
tanto cresce 'l desio che m'innamora.
I' benedico il loco e 'l tempo et l'ora
che sí alto miraron gli occhi mei,
et dico: Anima, assai ringratiar dêi
che fosti a tanto honor degnata allora.

Da lei ti vèn l'amoroso pensero,
che mentre 'l segui al sommo ben t'invia,
pocho prezando quel ch'ogni huom desia;

da lei vien l'animosa leggiadria
ch'al ciel ti scorge per destro sentero,
sí ch'i' vo già de la speranza altero. In old school Italian, it says:

When Love within her lovely face appears
now and again among the other ladies,
as much as each is less lovely than she
the more my wish I love within me grows.
I bless the place, the time and hour of the day
that my eyes aimed their sights at such a height,
and say: 'My soul, you must be very grateful
that you were found worthy of such great honour.

From her to you comes loving thought that leads,
as long as you pursue, to highest good,
esteeming little what all men desire;

there comes from her all joyous honesty
that leads you by the straight path up to Heaven—
already I fly high upon my hope.

but I don't speak it, so don't believe me. I'm hungry. I'm going to lunch.

ps. the sonnet was written by Francesco Petrarca back in the 1300's in case you were wondering

Oolong the waffle balancer is dead... poor bunny. How do people have enough time to compile lists like the White Rapper Gallery? You may just be a few steps from slitting your wrists if you find yourself doing shit like that... reminds me of those bling bling guys. This is sick. I've wanted a Bonsai tree for a long time, but maybe I should reconsider? This shit is crazy (high speed connection recommended). What the hell is this? Ahhh yes, brief surf break while waiting on my next meeting. Did I mention I hate meetings? You know, I tried to get Eclair to balance shit on her head like Oolong, but she gets freaked out by something sticking to her. I assume this is a normal response for most girls. I tried to put a bow on her head at Christmas and she completely wigged. Why do people make their pets learn tricks? I never really understood the fascination. I wish I could teach my pets to talk. Penny tries... but she isn't quite there...

Ack! Where does the time go?

Downtown construction fucked up our carpool commute this morning. Joe was demonstrating his best urban assault technique as I played secret agent jumping from a speeding automobile onto the dangerously close and unpredictable coffee train at Chez Satan across from the office. Apparently construction woes were not enough to satiate the downtowners this morning, so a gas main near Reliant was also ruptured. The geographic irony kills me. After dancing a few jigs and singing show tunes in line to stay awake, I receive my triple grande non-fat latte subsequent to negotiating the lowest interest rates in town. Beans are my vice... some smoke, I drink coffee... gallons and gallons of coffee. I am sitting here at my desk with coffee all around me. I'm swimming in coffee. I'm a coffeenaut... hear me roar. ROWRRRR! Anyhoo, I finally received prints from Fotki, so I have a photo of my girlfriend on my desk at work now. I have never kept a photo of anyone on my desk at work... ever. Then again, I don't think I've ever quite missed someone so badly before either... I guess it makes sense. I have a day filled with meetings. I fucking hate meetings with a passion. I'm a passionate guy and this is one of the few things I am passionately negative about... meetings. Fucking ridiculous and a complete waste of time for all parties involved. I fucking hate meetings. Get it? I need a new calendar. Maybe I'll get one at lunch. Sluuuuuuuuurp! Mmmmmmmmmmn... coffee.

I slept great despite working until almost midnight on a ridiculous work problem. You give someone all the tools they need to solve their own problems and practically lead them to the answer, yet they still want everything spoon fed. I love sleeping naked. I wonder what pitfalls lay waiting in the office... anticipating my arrival.

Done. I'm going to bed.
Wherever you are right now... I'm thinking of you.

I hate working from home at night when I could be doing anything else.

Queen O'Spades... yeah.