Yesterday together was absolutely wonderful. Every second we spend in each other's company is better than the last. I'm sure that at some point this will level off and we'll find a plateau... but I hope it's not in this lifetime. We went to a cheesy pottery place yesterday after a wonderful brunch at Mountain Shadows in Old Colorado City. Afterwards, we went for a walk in this really cool park that is made especially for dogs. There were probably 20 or 30 dogs running around, playing with each other, and having a great time. I missed Éclair and wished she could have been there with us. We went window shopping at a few different places before dinner and pickig up some great wine for the house. It was a great day of accomplishing a lot of nothing but spending time together. I think we are driving to Denver this morning... no reason really... just decided a road trip would be interesting today. I must say that I'm a little disappointed in EL and I not winning the lotto last night. This is going to seriously effect our retirement schedule. I woke up this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I am a little tired and am having trouble waking up this morning, but still... I just couldn't go back to sleep. I hate it when that happens. I was joking with EL yesterday about her posting here. She is pretty busy at work and has limited access to the Internet at home (via her roommate), so it's not likeley that she would ever blog consistantly, but I thought of setting her up with an MT account on my blog... her and Sean. They are the only two people (besides me) that have ever expressed their thoughts and/or words in the body of a post on this blog. Of course, if I did that, this wouldn't be "just clayton" anymore in it's truest sense. I don't know. I probably won't do it, but I have noticed a lot of people allowing guest bloggers to post in their absence and I think that is pretty cool... especially if I can't get to a computer. Freedom of speech baby! I might even let Jason post... he is a witty, intelligent, and very close friend of mine in Los Angeles... who probably has a lot to say, but never blogs because of his stubborn and lazy chocolate and peanut butter collision. I'd be interested in some feedback from you guys that actually read my crap. Would allowing an occational guest poster be a good thing or no? Oh well, just food for thought. I am going to finish swilling my coffee and jump in the shower. I'm sure EL is waiting on my slow ass to get ready by now. We're of to Denver! w00t!
many truths float through life never finding validation in breath,
but they’re true just the same and no closer to death.
ageless and absolute are but a few,
but one stands out that i’d like to share with you.
behind each man that knows success and prosperity,
is the love of a woman given freely and charitably.
whether a mother’s son whose morals and actions tell true
the love that she gave him as he stumbled and grew,
or a passing acquaintance, a lover, or wife,
whose love keeps him warm amongst cold men and cold nights
these men that find the strength to persevere when most fail
and champion the mightiest when they seem weaker and frail
are the men that know greatness beyond me and perhaps you
these are the men who awaken to woman’s "I love you."
My day is compressing. I've discussed this before. I have a few hours worth of "schtuff" to do in the next half and hour or so before I make haste for the airport. It's currently 13 degrees in Minneapolis and 36 degrees in Colorado Springs... ironically, they are both supposed to be 12 degrees tonight when I arrive. Did I mention that my girlfriend wants to go camping this weekend? Yes. Camping. In sub-teen temperatures. I think she may have fallen and hit her head while I was away this week. If we can round up the supplies, camping we will go... I'd follow her anywhere.
I'm retarded for her like that. I wonder how much coffee I could drink in 30 minutes if I really tried. I am so effin tired. I have become a swayer since lunch. I'm surprised I haven't fallen face first into my laptop this afternoon. Poor sleep combined with PLNS (
post
lunch
nap
syndrome) is a killer. I ordered a few prints from
Fotki to take to EL this weekend and they completed messed the order up. I say two 3x5's and they send like six 3x5's and a 5x7. I say one 5x7 and they send two 5x7's. I say four 3x5's and they send one 3x5. Apparently, no one at
Fotki can count. It's just a risk you take when ordering online. I just gave all the extra copies to her. I think I might take a few out for my office though... yeah. Umm, so I received this thing in the mail from a place that supposedly picked me and about 30 other published poets work to place on an audio CD. They want my permission to have a professional voice person read one of my poems (
Miguel) as a track on the CD. What do you think? Should I do it? I doubt I would get any money for it. It seems shiesty. So, I'm wondering... does stress actually have anything to do with pimples? I have a couple of pimples right now and that is
way abnormal for me (usually very clear complexion)... but I have been stressed out recently, so I wonder if that's it. I need to get back to work... and EL, if you read this, I'll see you in 9 hours sweetie...
*POP* (<-- my head coming out of my ass as I finally make it over to
Jim's site again... the marlin scared me away ;-)
dood.
thanks.
let's have two day old Thai... on me man...
I need a haircut. I
really need a haircut. I had a nightmare last night that I got to Colorado this evening and EL wasn't there to pick me up and when I called her, Christina told me that she didn't want to talk to me. I think it's all because Harry told me that she was going to break my heart. Of course, Harry says a bunch of kookie shit that needs to be taken with a grain of salt... that's what makes him Harry. I woke up in the night, realized it was just a bad dream, and fell immediately back asleep. My alarm was NOT welcome this morning (as if it ever is). I didn't get anything done that I needed to get done. I barely packed in time to catch the bus. The fountains in the museum district were more beautiful this morning that I've ever seen them... maybe it was the light... maybe it was my mood... who knows? I liked them immensely. My METRO bus ran
two red lights this morning on the way downtown. We didn't die. There was a "homeless" guy on my bus that begs across the street from my office every day. He commutes into downtown in the morning, begs all day, and heads home in the evening. Working. Just like everyone else. I don't approve. Why do the songs we select to sing to ourselves in showers and cars always fall out outside out range? Maybe it's just me. I need some ruby red slippers to zoom me to her. The flight to Minneapolis is crazy. Why is it that I only have to pee when the fasten seatbelt sign is illuminated? Minneapolis/St. Paul airport is the biggest airport I've hiked across in some time. There is something inherently wrong with seeing your own breath inside the terminal. I miss EL so much that if I don't stop this post right now, I'm going to get all mushy. Lunchtime.
Change control. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Ok then. This day is winding down and I only have a little but of laundry, a little bit of sleep, a little bit of work tomorrow, and a little bit of air travel standing between me and my sweetie. Joe just stopped in and told me he was going over to Dirk's for a while tonight and he wants me to go with... I think we are going to meet him at Blanco's first. Dirk has had a rough time recently. His daughter has a rare disease that had gradually gotten worse since birth. Even without exterior complications, her life expectancy is short compared to a normal female human. Recently, she fell and broke her hip. The bone was extremely difficult to set because of her regular seizures that can only be minimized by heavy drug cocktails that have changed over time. Because of the time it took for the snapped bone to set, there is a chance that part of the bone is dying. They won’t know for some time, but this would mean a hip replacement... given her condition anyway, this is tricky. Already, the particular type of fibrosis she has is effecting the normal function of every organ in her body. Her brain, her eyes, lungs... everything. She may need a kidney removed within the next few months. She is a sweet little girl. Every time I am around her, my heart breaks. I see how difficult it is for my friend to see his daughter suffer and that makes it that much harder for me... even though I am so far removed from the entire situation. I wish there was something I could do... but other than pray and offer my support, I am helpless. So, I'm going to see him tonight and offer an ear and probably sit with my mouth shut about it for fear I'd spill some tears on the table.
The monkey says, "sometimes troubleshooting multicast routing pisses me off."
EL... I think I forgot to tell you
this...
These are yummy. I think I am addicted to peanut butter. I eat it with a spoon only because I cannot fit a shovel in my mouth. Supercrunch... smooth and creamy... no matter... bring it!
Lunch with
Micah was smurfy. We had pork dumpling smurfs and fresh spring roll smurfs and some nice cool smurf-two-oh. I bought a scratch off ticket for two dollars... the first one I've purchased since I moved back to Texas three years ago. I won four dollars. I wanted to win big so EL and I can go to
New Zealand. I also bought a lotto ticket. I don't even know how to check the numbers when they pick them... or even when they pick them... but I figure I better start playing now if EL and I are going to retire this year.
I have the best girlfriend on Earth... seriously.
Why the hell isn't today Friday? You know, this is getting more difficult with every trip. The days slow to a snail's pace between seeing her. I was running late this morning... not because I was actually late, but because I didn't feel like going to work yet. Yesterday I received my annual performance review. My company has changed a lot since this time last year. The review standards changed to thicken the gray areas that allow for political based wicketing of individual performance categories to alleviate some of the difficulty in processing the numbers so that they best fit someone's personal agenda. Overall, it wasn't bad... it wasn't bad at all. It was lower than last year. My boss actually told me that he was incredibly impressed at how I continually gave 110% and he didn't have a single complaint... buuuuuut had I given like 125% or 130%, my score would have been a tiny bit higher. Hard times we live in, eh? Well, I know exactly what I have done and what I am capable of... and I have been in the chain of command world for many years and have stood on both sides of the fence, so I know exactly how this all works and how it doesn't. The eloquent display of dung weaving that summed up my needs improvement bullets can be simmered down uncovered on low heat to the following statement: "I do not kiss ass well enough." My boss was quick to point out that I am extremely professional. I'm direct and to the point. I'm efficient and don't waste time with all the cradling and cooing that is required in the corporate prenatal ward. I don't sugar coat or spoon feed. I don't wipe chins or noses. I expect my co-workers (regardless of where they are on the food chain) to approach their jobs in a similar manner. This isn't to say I wouldn’t go back and save the wounded zebra at the back of the herd, but I'm not going to stroke down some half-wit whose learning curve needs a defibrillator. It is not my job... well... or so I thought. Apparently, it is part of my job description to suck the corporate dick with a tickling finger up their ass while making them a gourmet meal and cleaning their office. Fuck that. I busted my ass for this company last year and went so far beyond my required duties (in both quantity and chronographic location of hours served as well assisting others with their jobs... both in and out of my department) that there is no way I could have backslid from last year without a political ulterior motive. My natural instinct is to bear my claws and dig in for a battle while prancing through a flowery forest path scattering my resume about the woodland creatures however, I know I am very valuable around here and I am not quite sure my defensive knee jerk is justifiable. I am giving them (the corporate them) the benefit of the doubt on this one. Times have been high and low, but mostly low this year in the grand scheme of things, so I'm willing to risk that the scale of rating has evolved to reflect a different culture in-house. We'll see... in the mean time, I'll just keep my head down, work on my gag reflex, and try not to nibble. I am not going to compromise my personal beliefs for anyone. I will however, bite my tongue and continue to tally forth. Like now for example... for coffee.
Thanks
Greg... at least you paid attention in class.
Hang in there brother. I'm here for ya.
ps. Spring semester is in Vegas baby!
