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Finally home. Bills and junk mail piled a mile high. Ugh.

Being back in my office here in Houston is strange. Each time I leave her, I find myself leaving more of myself with her. It's quiet here. I think most people are gone for the day now. I am finishing tying up some loose ends and I too and heading toward the casa. Éclair, Penny, and Bianca are probably anxious for some quality time since I've been away. I feel like I might be getting sick. I finished uploading the rest of my trip pics on Fotki... which is still giving me trouble with my account. My landlord seems to think that nagging me is that way to get me to do something faster. I just got back to Houston this afternoon and have not even been home yet and they are constantly calling me. I am really beginning to dislike them... a lot. My head hurts. I have so much to do before Saturday. I don't even know where to start. I miss her. I am a little tired.

Thanks for the link Sean... I was trying to remember the order. Toadies final show at Deep Ellum Live on the 30th set list:

Plane Crash
I Come From The Water
Quitter
Heel
I Burn
Mr Love
Not In Love
Push The Hand
Away
Backslider
Paper Dress
Pressed Against The Sky
Possum Kingdom
Where Is My Mind?
________________

Beautiful Night (Vaden solo)
Don't Let Me Down
Little Sin
Happyface
Got A Heart
Dollskin
Cut Me Out
Tyler

Now, what the hell was up with the HD cam? Where is that action?

Ok. So I almost missed my plane. Fucking airline. You know, I completely understand the need for increased security and I have no issues with cooperation during the entire check-in and boarding process... however, rudeness is uncalled for... getting the occasional pain-in-the-arse passenger does not give you the right to label everyone as the same. Since my flight was phucked on the 2nd, I had to buy a one way ticket home. One way tickets are automatically flagged as security risks, so I knew I was in for the not-quite-body-cavity-thorough search when I arrived for my flight. They did a complete search, wipe down, and scan of the luggage I was checking aboard... the typical explosive residue search and such... luckily, my dirty undies and bathroom travel bag didn't set off any alarms... heh. Actually, since I only packed for the days I originally planned to be there, I ended up doing laundry at EL's and most of my clothes were freshly washed. EL and I said our see-ya-soons and I headed for the gate. I arrived at the security check point just as I heard "final boarding call for clayton can't-get-his-ass-to-the-gate"... that was me. I hate leaving her. I hate leaving her. Did I mention that I hate leaving her? Anyhoo, I asked the security guy if he could get someone to call the gate desk or walk over and let them know that I was there... especially since I was flagged for the Spanish Inquisition. They flipped out on me. Obviously, asking for a simple courtesy given my respectful cooperation and their closing boarding 15 minutes early was an admission of some Al Queida connection. Oh yeah buddy, I have a thermonuclear device shoved up my ass. Praise Alah. Fuck you. So I start jumping up and down at the security desk while yelling down the concourse. "Hey!! It's me! Clayton!! I'm here dammit! Don't leave! I'll be right there as soon as these fucktards finish molesting me! I'm here!!!!!!" (I didn't actually say "fucktards" at the airport security checkpoint, but the rest is pretty accurate.) The gate door agent just so happened to be the same supervisor that called me a smart ass at the Continental counter two days ago when she couldn't understand my schedule and I pulled out a chart and said "well let me give you something color coded to help you". Fortunately, EL pulled her aside and did some woman to woman explaining and worked everything out and she didn't hold a grudge. She waved and smiled and yelled back that the plane was leaving without me. Payback is a bitch, ain't it? Meanwhile, the prodding, frisking, and fondling continued and tried to make small talk with the dickhead security folks... damn... no one appreciates sarcasm anymore. Either that or they just didn't understand me. The gate lady comes over with a big grin and asked me where I'd been... I told her that I was just outside the concourse and they should still be boarding. I was the only person not on the plane. She told me that she was just playing with me and that she'd already told the pilot I was on my way and they were waiting... then she added "you'd have been on time if you weren't spending so much time with that purple headed girl"... I just laughed... then I ran... ran across the concourse, down the jetway, and into the aircraft full of passengers and crew that were all waiting on me... all waiting on me because I hate leaving her. (1:19CST)

As my plane enters Houston Intercontinental airspace, I am dreading going into the office. I arranged to get a ride downtown from the airport, but I told them the wrong terminal. I think this day needs to end soon. (2:29CST)

EL picked me up for lunch today. We went to Montague's. It was one of the first places we went together when we first met. The big antique purple chairs we love to sit in were taken when we arrived, so we ate on the couch. It was nice. I had a garden salad, turkey and broccoli quiche, and hot apple cider... I really like the plum wine vinaigrette they have. EL says it's best on fresh strawberries, but I'll have to wait to try that some other time. Her turkey and avocado croissant sandwich looked great too, but not as yummy as the pumpkin tomato soup she had with it. I tried that once before... really, really good soup. I am convinced that pumpkin flavor and/or pumpkin spice is a mystery ingredient in most of the items I presume are prepared with crack cocaine. Jason and I used to eat these unbelievably addictive quesadillas at The Baker's Crust in Ghent. We must have devoured hundreds of them before we uncovered the secret... pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice = Crack sauce. She needed to run some errands for work after lunch, so I went with her. We went on a wild goose chase and ended up discovering the address she was given was incorrect and she needed to go back toward her office. She dropped me off at work and I returned to bad news. It looks like there are more lay-offs coming down the pipe. Obviously, everything is just rumored at present, but that's how it always starts. Personally, I wouldn't be concerned if it were not for all the unsolicited email from co-workers telling me it's not a good time to be out of the office. "Out of sight, out of mind." Fuck that. I work hard for this company and I have a good work ethic. I never take lump vacation because I feel guilty about being away so long... like I'm going to miss something important or not be available to someone that needs me. Instead, I take a day or two here and a day or two there... spread out over the course of the year. I deserve that time off... I deserve this time off. It turns out that most days I'm off, I go to work anyway... or at least end up assisting someone from work on something work related. I am not going to worry about it. I love my job and I like the people I work with (and for), but I know that what I would perceive as my misfortune would truly be their loss...

That post reminded me that I never mentioned ErinLynn's recent hair change. She is going to absolutely kill me for posting this, but she put some lavender/purple highlights in her hair just the other day and I TOTALLY dig it.





The photo really doesn't do it justice... it looks terrific! Oh, and if I never post again, it's because she has dispatched me for posting this photo. Au Revoir.

Dear God,



Thank you.


Love,
Clayton

I love coffee. You know, I have to admit that lack of posting has been a little weird when I come back to the computer and realize the breadth of stretch. My visit here has been extended yet again as the airline Nazis fucked up my flight plans yet again yesterday. The story tires me and I really don't want to tell it again, but the gist of it all is they couldn't get their head out of their asses long enough to get me on the flight I paid for and wouldn't comp me another seat, so I had to pay for another ticket back to Houston and the first one that I could reasonably get put me in the Springs for another day and a half. Bittersweet indeed... a bounty of seconds more with the woman I have completely fallen for, yet missed meetings and commitments at work that although seemingly have worked themselves out, still make me a little uneasy. EL offered to drive me back to Houston yesterday. Although it would have been a fun road trip, it just didn't seem fair for her to have to drive back by herself. Oh well, I'm all good. I'll be back at work in the Houston office mañana and the important stuff I missed there today can be rescheduled. No harm done. ErinLynn and I went to Mona Lisa's night before last for dinner. It was the best dining experience of my life. The service was excellent, the food was great, and the atmosphere was unbelievable. We had a room all to ourselves. The warm colors and subdued lighting made for a very romantic ambiance. It was a special evening that I will never forget.

I hate airlines.

Happy Birthday Rob... I miss you my friend. Through the years of our youth to the trials of today and all the back down in the gutter staring at the sky in between and wondering why and where will the when come... I'm here for you.

"i carry your heart with me" - e.e. cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I like my job... a lot. I wish I could quit my job. I want to travel the world and stay at home. I want to quietly write by the fireplace and fill the stage with slam poetry. I want to carefully prepare a home cooked gourmet meal and recklessly order delivery. I'd like to find time to spend doing absolutely nothing while making the world a better place. I want to dive the deepest caves on mixed gas and the most life abundant reefs on rebreather. I'd like to summit Everest and experience terminal velocity during freefall from an aircraft. I'd like to unearth ancient artifacts and priceless archeological treasures. I'd like to immerse myself in Costa Rican rainforest and hike New Zealand. I'd want to become the lyricist I know I can be and the guitarist I dream to be. I want to break the speed of sound. I want to climb El Capitan. I want to boulder Hueco Tanks. I'd like to see Eagle's Nest again... just one more time. I want to see lions and polar bears in the wild. I would like to swim in the Dead Sea. I want to find all the friends that I've lost over the years and wish them well. I to grow while staying the same. I want to learn to sing, but only for me. Of all these things and all the ones that ran away while typing this... most of all, I want to be with her.

This link swiped from Lisa has me laughing so hard my head is going pop right off... do not follow link if you have serious headache... don't do it!

EL came to visit me for lunch. The high point of my day. On a not so light note, I have had this incredible headache for about 2 hours now. I need drugs. Serious drugs.

"Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it!"