there's just something about walking through the park with the bitter cold cutting your skin and the steaming aroma of the cup of hot apple cider in your hand surrounding you as a light snow begins... the world takes on a different light in just that instant...
I either need some yin to my yang in this hotel bed for some counter-cover-tugging or a motherfucking staple gun to keep these vellux blankets in place. These bitches slide off the bed like an ice cube on a pre-zamboni wet hockey rink.
This afternoon started with ErinLynn taking me to Montague's for coffee. We had fun looking at and critiquing the antiques. I honestly found myself speechless in the presence of a woman for the first time in a long time. Well, there's that mystery girl, but we don't really know each other at all... and that's a story for another day. After we finished up there, she took me to Old Colrado City where we went window shopping all along the strip. I was really enjoying her company and conversation and honestly didn't care what we were doing... like a little kid with no concept of time or reason. We had dinner at Musashi. Sushi, sake, and Benny Hanna style cooking at the table... it was a good time. She had to leave after dinner, so I led myself to the hotel hot tub for some quiet time. Afterwards, I really had a strong desire to write... so I went to the Ritz and snuggled up with a bottle of wine and my notepad. I wrote like a madman... crazy and passionate hoohah that is probably not fit for public consumption, but it just came out. My pen was on fire. I did have to stop and people watch from time to time. I got a kick out of how guys would nonchalantly place their hand on their dates ass if another guy looked at her... I laughed... a lot. Fucking idiots. I've gotten into the habit of telling guys I'm gay if their date says hi to me or strikes up a conversation. It's just so much easier to tell them I'm gay than tip-toe around their insecurities. Again, fucking idiots. So, I finished my bottle and found myself at impasse concerning ink upon paper. I think I need some sleep. I'm not tired, but I'm irrational. I find myself in the depths of crazy thoughts and although I wasn't thinking it at the time, I really think (now) that sleep and a new day will give me perspective. We'll see...
I felt it. I felt my heart beating. I'm alive... no one can tell me otherwise.
"Ana's Song" - Silverchair
Please die Ana
For as long as you're here we're not
You make the sound of laughter
And sharpened nails seem softer
And I need you now somehow
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
Imagine pageant
In my head the flesh seems thicker
Sandpaper tears
Corrode the film
And I need you now somehow
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones
And Ana wrecks your life
Like an anorexia life
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you.
Ahhh... yes. The American Way: $18.00 for room service coffee and orange juice. Other than backup alarm clocks and wake-up calls to ensure I was up for the beginning of Toadies ticket sales this morning, I have been drifting in and out of slumber all day. I'm quite ready for my return to Houston. There is only one reason I would want to stay any longer... and she called a little while ago... thus prompting my getting out of bed and finding a modicum of consciousness. I forgot to mention some weirdness from my past cropping up yesterday. I received a message from my old friend, David, that I haven't talked to in years it seems... and Kathryn called. For those the know me in 3D, then you will understand the odd association with those two people contacting me in the same day. Fucking strange. This may sound weird, but I came dangerously close to purchasing a ukulele yesterday. I have been interesting in exploring the non-traditional expression of that instrument ever since I heard Guy play an unbelievable blues solo on his. I think the only reason I didn't buy it was the logistics of transport back to Houston. I am in a shopping mood. I really want to go clothes shopping.
I just bought my
Toadies reunion tickets.
Ticketmaster fucking sucks. Convenience charges are bullshit. Ticketmaster's online ordering system is a huge piece of shit that is so easily overloaded by transactions that I can't understand how they can function in today's e-commerce environment. Ticketmaster charge-by-phone also sucks... it's like trying to have a conversation with a Speak and Spell. I hate Ticketmaster... however,
I just bought my Toadies reunion tickets, so none of that other shit matters. Oh yeah baby!
Tonight was amazing. Well, it started as amazing. I had dinner with ErinLynn at that little Hunan place on Kiowa and then we went to The Famous for martinis. I met the owner... cool guy. She and I had a great conversation until I think I lost myself in her eyes somewhere and started being a dork. After she left, I was in that mood where the night is just right and you want to end it right there so nothing bad happens to ruin the way you feel. I walked back to the hotel and my friend Heather called... she was walking out of her house to go downtown and some guy attacked her from behind. She whacked him in the head and in the naughty bits and ran to her car... sped away and called the cops. She was super freaked out. I decided that I'd meet her briefly to be an ear. She was busy with the cops, so I stopped at this blues bar and took in some soul. I bought a kielbasa on the way to the Ritz and all the drunken chia pets on the street thought me crazy for singing Tenacious D. I talked to Heather for about 5 minutes about her attack and the whole cops thing before heading back to the hotel. She was going to stay at a friends house while the police searched her property and neighborhood. As I was leaving the bar, there was this ultimate fighting championship shit going on in the street... this guy hit this other guy so hard he was knocked unconscious on the cement... not moving... at all. Crazy. I continued past the riot as the police were descending on the scene. I seemed to be on auto-pilot on the way back to the hotel... still thinking of ErinLynn and what a great time I had. I am so looking forward to sleeping my day away tomorrow.
Happy Gilmore rocks. I have a headache. It's supposed to get really cold tonight. Rather than take some Tylenol PM and snuggle up for a warm winter nap this evening, I think I am going to do the only obvious rational thing a boy can do... I'm going to get purdied up and take some 100 proof pain killer while extremely loud live music exorcizes my demons. I think a pimptacular bowling shirt will suit the occasion... they're not enough money shirts in this town. Despite my headache, I am feeling great because I managed to find a return flight on Tuesday instead of Friday. My work here is done. I just have a couple days to relax and have a good time before I head back to Houston to receive my little sister for Thanksgiving. I'm really excited about Camron coming to visit me. With any luck, the most stressful issues that will crop up this weekend will be the choice of restaurant for dining and which guitar shop to loiter at while pawing the instruments.
I finally found my program from the recital last Friday. I promised Jason I would post it, so here goes:
Jean-Paul's solo pieces:
Claire de Lune - Debussey
Pathetique Sonata - Beethoven
Gynopedie - Satie
Rhapsody in Blue - Gershwin
Jean-Paul and Jacqueline's duets:
Piano Concerto in A Minor - Grieg
Sonata in G Minor - Mozart
Pieces of Dreams - LeGrand
I received an email from the manager running the office up here in the Springs inviting me to lunch today at MacKenzie's (the sexy bar place). I hadn't planned on going back there before I leave, but I'm down for a visit to my little bar-porno location for some lunch that someone else is paying for... count me in. I also found out that another one of my poems is being published this winter... probably in another painfully obscure poetry anthology that no one will ever read. It's looking like I'm going to get the go-ahead to leave for Houston before Thanksgiving. I want Camron to come visit me over Thanksgiving and stay through the weekend. It seems like I haven't seen my sister in months! I hear my bed calling me again... maybe I'll just go to work this afternoon instead.
you know... I was so drunk last night when I posted that I didn't remember what I wrote this morning... so I had to go to my site and look. first off, I am NOT growing my hair out. I must have been trying to make an inside joke with myself from something I saw last night. fucking drunk posts. I almost killed my alarm clock this morning trying to turn it off... still drunk. What a blur... now I better go dig through my pockets and see how much money I spent last night. Holy mother of all that is fermented or distilled... bourbon, wine, countless martinis... hopscotch on the happy trail. Maybe I should try to go to work sometime soon?
I relinquished all my cash and a two mile walk to the liquor store to provide high octane holiday cheer to my new homeless friends... Pancho, Ron, and their friends. I spent some time at Tony's where I heard the Guitar Circle of Colorado play some intricate and progressive guitar ensembles before the Benders took the stage. I don't know these guys personally, but let me tell you... based on photos on their respective sites, the Benders lead singer/guitarist looked exactly like
wKen and their drummer looked exactly like
Hoopty Mike. Fucking weird. I went to the Ritz after that for an excellent filet mignon while listening to the Fabulous Boogienauts. Their female funk front was spectacular... and quite arousing. My friend Gil goes to court tomorrow... cross fingers. I am torn between growing my hair to a long pony-tail state and shaving my head completely bald. Maybe I'll dye my hair jet black instead. I don't know. I ran into Sarah at the Ritz. She and I spent the rest of the evening at
15c. We had a great talk and I'm glad we spent time together. My friend Joe told me that he was moving back to Jersey tomorrow. I was sorry to hear that... Colorado Springs needs more people like him. All and all, I am tired and ready for bed, but I put a lot into perspective tonight. Goodnight.
I need a nap. I worked until well after midnight in the office last night. I stopped by 32 Bleu on the way to my room for a glass of wine and ran into my friend, Heather. It was great to see her again. When I got to the hotel, I sat at the desk here in my room and continued to work towards the clayton-fixes-everything-and-gets-to-go-spend-thansgiving-with-his-sister goal. Excluding a quick phone call with a good friend on mine in Texas, I worked until around 4:00. I was up at 7:30 for more necessary network masochism. Fuck. I peeled myself away from business tasks around lunchtime for a nice oriental salad and walk in the park. The weather is beautiful today. ErinLynn called to inquire about plans. I'm not really in the mood to go out and do anything, but it would be nice to see her again too. I am kinda hoping I run into everyone I met last time I was here... at least once before I go home. I've decided to skip out on work this afternoon and hide in my bed.
We all go through life meeting people... some stay for a while and some don't. Some we know very well in a short period of time... as if there were intuitive intervention... and some take much longer, but the depth of friendship is great.
I know this guy that is a hard working and honest man. He loves his family more than life itself. He is a southern man with deep rooted morals concerning the value of home life and family. He loves his wife and respects her more than any human on Earth... always complimenting and raving about how she amazes him with her ability to be a mom. He goes on and on about how being a mother is the hardest job anyone could ever have and no one does it better than his wife. He is a good man that believes that if a woman can be a mother, then she can handle anything. She is strong and capable.
I know this girl that is a sincere and honest woman. She is a mother that loves her child and does a superb job at giving him everything that he needs. She is an intelligent and attractive woman who is more capable than even she realizes. She is sensitive to the world around her, yet manages to be strong for her child and proves again and again that she is an amazing person to all that know her. She does all this without even realizing it because she is a great mother to her child and compared to that, being an amazing person is the gravy train with biscuit wheels. She is a great mom... and a great person.
They don't really know each other, but I do know a lot of other people that can fuck off.
The End.
...wasn't that a nice story?
I'm back at the home-tel from work... I am going to have a nice little coma now. Goodbye.
After a couple of hours in the office and a rather one-sided meeting (me talking, them listening), I managed to find my hotel bed and sleep for a couple of hours. I told everyone I wanted them there an hour early tonight because I was changing how we were going to progress through the schedule. I'm not in the mood to fuck around with politics right now. I'm in the mood to be finished with this crap and make it back to Houston in time to host Thanksgiving for my little sister at my house. I have that groggy feeling that lends itself to chemical redemption. I need something... caffeine, ephedrine... whateva. I feel like my brain is in a tub off jello and I am seeing and hearing things a fraction of a second after they are happening in everyone else's reality. I could eat this entire box of dark chocolate covered espresso beans sitting on my desk. I won't. I'm just pissed about the thought of me working tonight. I'm sure I'll get over it. A hot shower always helps and I know there is caffeine in my future. I dreamt of snow... and the wolf again.
