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I spent the afternoon at the zoo after lunch at Star Pizza. Excellent. I had dinner at the Thai Pepper and then went to see Harry and Eric (it was Eric's B-Day). Today was a completely incredible day. I'm sleepy.

I don't like ironing on a brand new ironing board, but I love oatmeal raison cookies with walnuts. The universe is funny that way.

My birthday was great. I received a lot of phone calls and emails with warm wishes... and I have a lot of friends that went out of their way to make the day for me. It was really just incredible. Sean will be down tomorrow from Austin. I can't wait. I love being off work. I wake up and each day is like sitting before a blank canvas and holding thousands of colors with which to paint. How will I paint my day today?

This new date just announced: The Burden Brothers are playing Houston again this Saturday. Todd and his crew don't go on until midnight at Dick's Hangout... tickets are $5.00. I just might not be able to sleep until then...

Haircut was bad, bad, bad choice. Birthday butchering... yee-haw! The only thing worse than a bad haircut on your birthday is an expensive bad haircut on your birthday. Geez! I'm off to shower/change and start the birthday festivities. I think there is a group of use-clayton's-birthday-as-an-excuse-to-drink people meeting at Front Porch Pub midtown around 7:00-ish. Migration will happen soon after my arrival because the service at that place sucks. Come have a drink. Ciao.

Eclair just spent $96.00 in regular maintenance at the veterinarian. What a wonderful gift that was to her daddy... she must love him bunches. It is raining. I haven't eaten all day and I need a haircut. Yippie. Haircut? or no haircut? That be the question.

Thank you Patricia and Kyle... this unexpected gift made my day.

I had beers with Bill down the street at Outback before meeting my friend Danielle for birthday drinks. I had not seen her in a while and we had a great conversation before I bid her adieu. I always enjoy hanging out with her, but I was sleepy and hungry. Sleepy and hungry doesn't make good conversation. So back to the birthday... as the clock struck midnight and I was sitting there stirring the ice in my glass and waiting on my friend to arrive, I look up and see this absolutely miserable looking woman sitting beside me at the bar. I am a huge observer of social interaction and have, over the years, developed a penchant for dissecting situations. Me, being the introverted and quiet boy that I am, immediately started a conversation with this poor girl. As it turns out, she was sitting with her date across the street and he, in mid conversation, pushes his chair back, stands up, and walks out. She was acting out the proverbial "tear in my beer" move (only substituting some DayGlo foo-foo drink as the tear catcher) and feeling quite sorry for herself (hence the my-puppy-just-died look). This conversation was getting more interesting by the second. If this was fabricated, then she is taking home the Oscar. She claimed that she had absolutely no clue why he left. Their conversation was non-confrontational and the date had been going okay prior. As the story was exhaled, the validity was confirmed by the utter confusion on her face. She developed that "deer in the headlights" look. She seemed really sweet and I felt as if I were being suckered into some sympathy thing... then he shows up. She was physically stunning and dressed for a night out with simple elegance and he was a Ken doll wearing the clothes he saw his favorite Road Rules character apply and mistaking thought they looked cool. These two were an interesting match even before he opened his mouth. His tone was aggressive in the attack, but fell off quickly as if he was ashamed of what he was saying. The exact banter was lost somewhere a few drinks later, but from what I can remember, the gist was him leaving her and trying to call her from the parking lot... she didn't have her cell phone... he kept trying rather than going back in.... she got tired of waiting and left (went across the street to find nosey stranger)... he started looking... nosey stranger is getting juicy details of story... he comes in and becomes furious... he demands an immediate ride home and storms out (apparently, she drove). So, she left me with a smile and my Jerry Springer entertainment for the evening. My question is this: Do dates really crash and burn this badly? I mean, I don't really date much these days, but I would think there would be some pre-selection involved to not put yourself in a situation where this kind of disaster results. If anything, this pushes me further from the dating arena. Ironically, just before midnight I was considering a complete reevaluation of my anti-dating policy. Silly me.

It has arrived. My first official birthday activity this morning will be many shots of espresso poured lovingly into a to-go cup and carried tenderly back to this very spot so I can write about my first unofficial birthday activity ala last night.

I'm home. I feel decadent... why am I not liquored up and ready for sin?

The atmosphere this morning is crisp and vibrant... full of color. The soft sound of the tiny waves rolling onto the rocks reminds me of my youth. I look upon the bay and a flood on memories overwhelms me. This has been a good trip. I went to say goodbye to my grandmother this morning and ran into my uncle and his wife. They had a 15 month old girl in tow that was apparently someone's from her side of the family. My Nana's name is Barbara, but we were instructed not to use her name in the presence of the baby. When this 15 month old child was very young (yes, younger), there was a distant family member (not my family, but the baby's) named Barbara that was abusive to the children (not sexually, but violently). Uttering the name Barbara in the presence of the 15 month old causes her to immediately start screaming in terror and cry uncontrollably... just from a name... a word that triggers some terrible memory from infancy. Children will never cease to amaze me. I love children. I suddenly felt something... I am not sure exactly if it was sadness or regret, but it was something close to a combination of the two. I realized that the joy of knowing and interacting with a child will never be shared with a child of my own. It's ok. I have come to terms with it. I have a lot of friends and family with wonderful children. Maybe it was just meant to be this way. So, tomorrow I turn 31. Yes, you read correctly... thirty-one. Thirty-one and childless. Thirty-one and single. Thirty-one with the experience and success of someone twice my age and the heart of someone half my age. Ironic and bittersweet... good on me. I'm packing for the trip back to my RealLife™. Yep... it's just a few hours away.

For a guy that can remember the days when Sean and I would suffer daily through 300 baud connects and think it was the greatest thing since Velcro... the same guy that wee early 90's 9600bps connections to the infantile Internet were absolutely blazing fast to... the same guy that until his recent downgrade to cable, had about 6.3Mbps to the Net at home and still has a dedicated DS3 (45Mbps) to the Net in his office... for that guy, his mother's dialup connection in driving him fucking insane. I am absolutely going loony. How does someone live with this? Forget food, water, and shelter... how can you survive on this connection? Don't even mention people that don't have Internet access. I am still convinced that they don't exist and it's just a big lie to make me crazy. Yes, I'm a geek. Deal.

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." - W.C. Fields
Dammit. How many fingers am I holding up? ...Exactly.

"Tyler" (Toadies)
And she runs through her days with a smile on her face
And she runs, and she waits, and I wait

We can drive to anyplace, day or night, across the state
And in the morning, into Mexico, we will wake up

I find a window in the kitchen, and I let myself in
Rummage through the refrigerator, find myself a beer
I can't believe I'm really here, and she's lying in that bed
I can almost feel her touch, and her anxious breath!

I stumble in the hallway, against the bedroom door
I hear her call out to me, I hear the fear in her voice
She pulls the covers tighter, I press against the door

I will be with her tonight!
______________

It is absolutely fascinating to me how pitchers of margaritas + playing guitar = Clayton sounding like a furious mix of Django Reinhardt, Michael Hedges, Jimi Hendrix, Yngwie Malmsteen, Eddie Van Halen, Randy Rhoads, Eric Clapton, Muddy Waters, Eric Johnson, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck, Zakk Wylde, B.B King, Andreas Segovia, and Robert Johnson.
tequila = guitar magic